I'm Still Here

Hello!  I'm still here.  Well, where else would I go?  There is no where I can go where God is not.  My journey has continued and it's been an adventure.  I know this will continue the rest of my life.  I am amazed at where I am now, spiritually speaking.
I want to recall to the best of my ability, my journey.  I have always gone to church, at least for the majority of my life.  I am happy for the people who go and receive help.  In my case, I know the "church" is not the best place for me.
My sister just related to me yesterday a recent event in her life.  My father was preaching at the church he attends.  He asked my sister to come and hear him preach.  She and her husband drove about 5 hours to go to see him and hear him preach.  She told me that my father worked it into his sermon about how some people don't go to church.  He went on to state that he could not understand how any Christian would not go to church.
My father has two daughters that do not go to church.  My sister's journey is different than mine.  It was a period of time during which I was understanding the "church" is no longer Christ's church.  In some instances it is barely "Christian".  As one person put it, "the world has gotten so churchy and the church so worldly, you can't tell them apart."  That was stated a couple decades ago.
I am not sure when I first started realizing that I needed to leave the church.  I will relate one of the first times, I felt convicted about something that happened in church was not of God.  The pastor at the church I attended was doing a sermon series on prayer.  Not just prayer really, but "circle maker" prayer.  He told the story of Honi, the circle maker and his prayer for rain.  Something about it all did not sit quite right, but I trusted the church, so put those squirmy feelings aside.  At the end of the sermon, we were told to write on a small piece of paper that we were given.  We were then instructed to line up and put them on these bulletin boards that were to the sides of the platform.  I felt like I should not do this.  I did not know why.  Just felt really yukky about it all.  Unfortunately, I did not listen to my gut feelings, but lined up like the rest of the sheeple and did as I was instructed.  After all, what's wrong with saying you will pray 10 minutes a day.  I prayed far more than that a day, so what was the big deal?
Every week following, during that series, I would want to go up to the platform and yank off my paper piece.  I didn't want to have to answer why, if anyone confronted me, so I never did.  But every week I was convicted, and every week was miserable because I knew I had disobeyed God.  I obeyed a man instead of God.
It was quite a few years, before I found out what the big deal was.  It was defilement.  You may think that is a strong word to use, but it is accurate.  The pastor was using a sermon series from the book called the "Circlemaker".  Here's an excerpt from the webpage of Mark Batterson:  " “Drawing prayer circles around our dreams isn’t just a mechanism whereby we accomplish great things for God. It’s a mechanism whereby God accomplishes great things in us.” Do you ever sense that there’s far more to prayer, and to God’s vision for your life, than what you’re experiencing? It’s time you learned from the legend of Honi the Circle Maker—a man bold enough to draw a circle in the sand and not budge from inside it until God answered his prayers for his people. What impossibly big dream is God calling you to draw a prayer circle around? Sharing inspiring stories from his own experiences as a circle maker, Mark Batterson will help you uncover your heart’s deepest desires and God-given dreams and unleash them through the kind of audacious prayer that God delights to answer."
Sounds innocent enough doesn't it?  But, where did the story of the Circlemaker come from?  It came from an old legend from the Talmud.  It has nothing to do with Christianity.  It does, however, have much in common with paganism.  (Oh, there's a big shock, as so much of what happens in churches these days has common roots in paganism)  To be brief, the Talmud is the oral traditions.  We have the written word of God.  The Talmud does not have authority in the Christian's life.  Or shouldn't have as we can go to the written word of God for our questions.  There is a lot of information on the Talmud online, if you want more information.
But why is in wrong to draw a circle around yourself to pray?  There is so many reason, but let's begin with the Words of Jesus.  Jesus' disciples came to Him and asked Him to teach them to pray.  If drawing a circle was important, Jesus surely would have said to do so.  No, He said to pray "Our Father, who are in heaven, hallowed be thy name..."  You surely know the rest.  We have an accurate history of Jesus' life on earth.  Some of His prayers are recorded for us.  Yet it is not recorded that He ever drew a circle.  When Lazarus died and he had been dead for 3 days, Jesus came on the scene.  He merely said "Come forth".  No circles, no threats to stay in the circle until God answered His prayers.
Did you know that in witchcraft and wicca they use magick circles?  It's an occult way to pray.  Mark Batterson, in the Circlemaker, is teaching Christians an occult way to pray.  Yikes!  That's serious stuff, isn't it?  A few years ago, many churches were teaching this.  Church can be a scary place.  This is just one of many examples that I will be giving as I try to recount my journey out of churchianity and into Biblical life.   If Jesus didn't do it, I want no part of it.  However, I do want to be conformed into the image of Christ.  He is my example, and my shepherd.  I follow Him. 
I do want to offer a prayer for anyone who has been defiled by the "Circlemaker" prayer.  Perhaps you read the book, or were in a service where you were encouraged to pray this new way.
You can pray this:  Dear Heavenly Father, please forgive me for praying a  'circlemaker' prayer.  Forgive me for listening to the lies of the enemy.  Forgive me for taking part in pagan ways of praying.  Forgive me for trying to manipulate You into doing what I wanted.  Please help me to learn your ways, and to follow the ways your son, Jesus, taught when He was on the earth.  Thank you for all the good examples that are set forth in your Holy Word, the Bible.  Help me to read it and learn from it.   I ask you to take any and all authority that I gave the enemy by participating in the "Circlemaker" prayer teachings and any other pagan teachings, and put that authority back under the authority of Jesus Christ.  Help me to have only one Father, you, and help me to stay under the shadow of your wings.  Amen