How I Know My Heart is Cold

Before I continue with my story, I want to tell you another story.  I am putting in an excerpt of a story of a young man's life.   I first heard of this story on a conference I was streaming.   By that I mean I was watching it online.   A young teenager was telling this story.  She told it with conviction.  It was easy to see that she was very moved regarding the content.  She had been deeply affected for days.  The man in the story was a Welsh revivalist born in 1878.  His name was Evan Roberts.  Here was a man who loved God with more passion than most of us can even imagine.
After his conversion, the leaders of his church wanted Evan to go to school to learn to be a minister.  He did not want to go because he was afraid that he would lose the "communion"  In other words, he was afraid that he would "backslide" or lose the closeness he had with God.   Here is the excerpt:  "“I got up Sunday. The Rev. Seth Joshua was there. Tuesday evening there was a prayer meeting, and Sydney Evans and others came to see me, and asked if I would go to the meeting. At that moment I felt the Spirit coming upon me, and so irresistible did He come that I rushed to the chapel without my topcoat. The influence began. I was ready to pray - to pray for power to the young women who were there from New Quay, lest the people should wait upon them. I had prayed for them in the house on Monday night. I was not allowed to pray publicly on Tuesday evening. That day I had asked where the devil was. I was hard. I could look at the Cross without feeling. I wept for the hardness of my heart, but could not weep for Christ. I loved the Father and the Spirit, but I did not love the Son."
How amazing is this.  How many people enter churches every day, look at the cross and have no feeling.  Perhaps they do not even notice it is there.  This is something to ponder.  It is time to search our hearts.   How much of our day do we devote to God?
Here is how I know my heart has grown cold.
#1)  The above.   I do not weep when I see the cross.  To some the very idea may seem repugnant.  But I believe my heart and the hearts of my fellow Americans have grown cold.
#2)  When I hear of Christians being martyred, I pause, but go on with my life.  I don't cry out for God to protect them.  I don't pray for those doing the killing.
#3)  Regarding #2 - do I believe that God answers prayer?  That He hears me and cares when I pray?  If so, why don't I pray more?  Why don't I pray more for my friends, family, co-workers, and people I pass by.
#4)  I don't care enough about people to tell them the truth about God.  I'm not talking about what we called "Bible Thumpers" in the 80s.   I'm talking about sharing with people how God has changed my life.
#5)  Excusing myself for sin, instead of dealing with it.  For me, eating healthy and exercising are areas that I know I must heed the Lord.
#6)  Hardening my heart against people that I interact with.  This would include brushing someone off that wants to talk with me, or monopolizing a conversation instead of listening to what the other person has to say.
#7)  Harboring unforgiveness.  This isn't as much of a problem as it has been in the past.  However, I felt it is a way that does show if my heart is cold.
#8)  Denying that my heart has gone cold.

These are just a few ways that I have found upon self-examination.  Other people may have a completely different list.  I daresay that #8 is a problem for most Christians.  I understand as I was there for many years.  It is easier to think everything is ok with me and God than to face the areas that need change.   I hope you and I will let God into our hearts and obey what He says.

Day 3: God's Love

Forgetting:  I am just_________ (fill in the blank.)

Remembering:

I am the apple of the Lords eye

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me

I live in the shadow of Almighty God

I am the righteousness of God in Christ

I am seated in heavenly places.

Read Psalm 139

Update 11/11/17:
This is a great reminder.  I'm very glad I'm taking another look at these blogs before I start writing new blogs.  I want to show others my path so that I can hopefully keep someone from being deceived.

The Beginning

I was reading Kris Valloten's book Spirit Wars this morning.  This one sentence jumped out at me:  "What I did not realize until that night was that I had been educated right out of my solution."  That hit me hard.  This thought came to me, "what if I could forget what I thought I knew about God and start fresh and learn again"  It sounds crazy.  That is the purpose of this blog, a reset, a new beginning.  Starting without preconceived ideas about God.  Doing what new Christians do.
My plan:  to write what I am forgetting and what I am learning.

Afterward:  Coincidentally?  Tonight I watched "God's Not Dead".  It is about a student who chooses to accept a challenge to try to prove that God is not dead.

Update:  2/16/15
This has been a much different journey than I had expected.  But just as a plant is pruned to help it grow and produce more, so have I been pruned.  This winter has been long and cold.  In many ways it has been hard but joyful.  It won't be long until I hear the words, "Lo, the winter is past....."

Update 11/11/17
How far this journey has taken me.  I believe that if I had not left the Standard American "Church", I would be a dead and cold Christian.  I am shocked to see where I am now.  But there is the "life" of God stirring in my heart and I believe that I am closer to being like Christ.  Is that not what we are meant to be?  Formed in the image of Christ.  I am planning to update my blogs first and there continue on, by relating how I have gotten from where I was to where God has brought me.  I have a glimpse of my future.  I believe that many Christians all over the world are escaping "church" in order to become the body of Christ, His church, also called the "remnant".